I still cringe when I ‘fess up to anyone that I got scammed a few weeks ago. And why do I see in in confessional terms? As something somehow shameful? I was a victim not a perp after all. Knowing that doesn’t help much. Getting scammed is not something anyone is keen to admit to because we don’t want to admit to being helpless or gullible. It’s embarrassing. I certainly consider myself to be competent, confident and generally on to it. But, to be Biblical, pride goes before a fall. And how I fell.

I took a call early one morning which woke me up. It appeared to be from my bank asking about charges that had been added to my credit card and could I confirm whether they were bona fide. They mentioned several quite large charges in the $1,500-$2,000 range and I got into a panic because the voice on the phone kept telling me another one had come through and asking me to provide text message codes they were sending so they could stop them.

What a moron! The lack of request for vocal ID by the caller (supposedly from my bank) should have sent great big red letters of fire flashing before my eyes in warning. It didn’t, and I just kept on making it worse for myself. I’ve adroitly side-stepped other scammers. Not this time. I walked blindly into this one and the trap snapped savagely shut on my credulity like a gin-trap on the leg of a harmless little animal. Like the animal, I had no way out. I can hear your groans and cries of “what were you thinking?” from here. Believe me, there is nothing anyone can say to match what I’ve said to myself.

Being scammed is the ultimate own goal — you might as well set fire to the money

Of course I blame myself. But I’m not the villain of the story. I had a moment of poor judgement and am paying for it on many levels. Scammers are thieving amoral clever cxxts (sorry but there is no word I can think of that adequately describes my feelings other than this) who prey on our decency, credulity, frailties and fears. They don’t care who they hurt or how deep the damage. When I got the call, my fear of financial loss was triggered and I didn’t stop to think. Stupid me. Poor me. Maxima mea culpa. All of the above. But it’s not my fault that predators exist. There have been charlatans, mountebanks, fraudsters, imposters and confidence tricksters since Adam was a boy.

The financial loss wasn’t insignificant and it doesn’t look like there’s much chance of getting the money back. They’re investigating, but my expectations are lower than the proverbial wicked stepmother’s morals. I lost what was to me a fair chunk of money which means I can’t take trip home to the UK that I was planning for Christmas. But the scammers thankfully didn’t wipe me out.

I know scams often leave some people with nothing, so it could have been a lot worse. That’s like telling your kids to eat their greens because starving kids in less lucky places would be so grateful for your Brussels Sprouts! Just BTW, do any kids anywhere like Brussels Sprouts? Hard to imagine. In any case, it was enough money to cause me some real pain. If there could be a silver lining, I was lucky that I didn’t give any actual passwords to any of my other accounts.

But it’s not just the money

The financial loss was only a part of it. I felt violated. Dirty. Pathetic. Ashamed. Foolish. Vulnerable. Duped. Fragile. Worst of all, defeated. These are not emotions or states that I often experience. That sounds very smug, but it’s true. In my own eyes, I’m not a fool or an object of pity. Yet in the course of one very mis-guided phone call I proved myself to be just that. I got well and truly hung out to try. Trussed like a fowlfor the spit. Taken to the clearners. Caught hook, line and sinker. Done like a dog’s dinner. The scammers ate me up and spat the bones out.

It’s hard to put my finger on why this epidode has left me reeling when many other ostensibly worse things haven’t hit so hard. My last blog covered how to use the lemons life lobs at us creatively. I’m pretty good at that, but I’ve been struggling to think how to put a positive spin on this. I know from experience that time will heel the wound. I just wish time would also wound those scamming heels. It was a bruising experience that rocked me to the core. The whole sorry saga doesn’t jive with my sense of who I am. I’m Tigger for God’s sake! But I seriously had to check my premises and assumptions because if I could be that fooled in that way, am I fooling myself about other stuff?

The ‘gift’ that keeps on giving

I am still struggling to let myself off the hook even though I know I’m in good company and smarter folk that me have been hooked as badly or worse. Maybe some of my self-disgust is because I’ve seen too many movies where wealthy mature women get targeted by charming con artists like Steve Martin and Michael Caine in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Scammed is another one of those things I didn’t want to be when I grew up. And yet here I am.

I wasn’t going to write about this. I thought I’d got over it. And, to be honest, why would I focus on my own idiocy. But I mentioned what had happened to someone I know just in passing in a text and that ripped the Band Aid off. The hurt and bewilderment is still lurking like basking sharks waiting for their opportunity feed. I’ve cried as I’ve written this. I’m surprised by the depth of emotion. But it’s been cathartic and I’m glad to have got it off my chest.

We won’t get fooled again

I won’t let those parasitic, bottom feeding low life’s grind me down or I’d risk becoming a recluse who despises their fellow humans. I’m not that person. I’m still Tigger. Tiggers have to bounce. See all the happy things. Believe the best in people. But I’m also human. I hope Karma is a real thing. That what goes around comes around. So these travesties of humans who steal and cheat people out of their honestly gained savings, bring endless misery and don’t bring or create anything of value, get theirs in time.

We get bombarded with scamming stings. Phishing phantasamagorias. They work because they are so believable or play on our sympathies and inherent good nature. Would it have been less of an issue for me if the money involved was less? That a yes, because I wouldn’t be angry on two levels. If it was only a few dollars, I’d only be feeling foolish. But being scammed is a horrible experience on many levels. No one walks away unscathed. I hope telling my story will offer solidarity to others who have gone through it so We Won’t Get Fooled Again.